Recovering Lazyholic

Photography & Stuff by Erin Hanson

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Last night I found myself abruptly awoken from a sound sleep. It's the middle of the night, and I think someone is breaking into my house. This is not the first time I've gone down this fearful road. Maybe it's irrational... I don't know. I have an active imagination, and with said affliction go into panic mode.

Step 1: Grab two dachshunds to shield me from what may come (makes total sense right), heart racing, and hope for the best. If dogs don't bite maybe with dark shadows on my side the intruder will mistake each armful for giant biceps and scurry.

Step 2: Text boyfriend and pray for reality check response. Can a technological flare be seen / heard at 3:30am?

Step 3: No. But that's ok. Seal off entrances, take a deep breath and turn on T.V. Bless you TCM; I get the tail end of a mini-Hitchock-athon. Yes, Hitchcock (I guess not generally a calming presence in times of panic). I have really been on a kick with this guy so it's exactly the mental diversion I was looking for. Thankfully we're talkingTorn Curtain which is all cold war suspense and Newman's blue eyes, not themes of "who is trying to kill me; who just died?".

Step 4: 7am. Break-in who? Of course chirping birds and the sounds of an awakening city don't hurt, but I have to thank the big guy for helping to finally deliver the zzz's and getting me past my frenetic worrying. Let's try to make our next date a little earlier under less stressful circumstances. The Wrong Man or North by Northwest maybe?