If you have never seen Battle of the Network Stars then you don't know what you're missing. Contrary to probable first impressions from you BNS virgins, it is NOT a reality show currently on the air. It was a special that would periodically run in the mid/late 70's where stars from NBC, CBS, and ABC got to duke it out by displaying their team work and athletic prowess. Although the general concept would definitely translate to TV now, and probably unofficially spawned reality programming as we know it, we'd be more likely to see an "all-star" D-List crowd instead of any intelligent successful network actor. That's sort of nebulous terrain anyway, considering both the present state of scripted television, and the "talent pool" of the past that I compare to. How about the cast of all CSI shows vs. the cast of all Law & Order Shows? I could deal with that.
And even without a possible future face off I am glad that the 70's were ridiculous enough to at least bless us with this masterpiece. Here's the debate. Which wonder to behold comes out on top?
1) Howard Kossell -- Most likely bribed or richly compensated, acting like this is real sports worth covering.
2) Telly Savalis -- Starting off with a shout out to the Greeks, wearing a track suit with gold chains while practicing the sport of smoking.
3) Bruce Jenner -- His old face.
4) Joanna (I've never heard of Captains and the Kings) Pettet -- Saying "hullabaloo".
5) Robert Conrad -- Also in the nicotine event, taking things very seriously with a hot poker up his butt and egg on his face.
6) Richard Hatch -- Only because I thought the original Battlestar Apollo was pretty dreamy.
I would say it's a draw between the two macho "we take ourselves very seriously" guys that are ballsy enough to think cigarettes and exercise mix, but I have to give it to Telly. He's better at keeping his cool and frankly seems like he'd have the ability to kick my ass even from the grave.
Show Intro [ You Tube ]
Billy Crystal [ You Tube ]